You probably don’t remember telling me any of this. Maybe I’m just overthinking things, or maybe not. Nevertheless, I think there are a couple of things that you need to be aware of.
Firstly, stop making baseless assumptions. Stop misinterpreting someone’s silence as having an attitude. When someone is quiet on the exterior, it does not imply that their head is empty. What is on display is rarely an indication of what thrives inside such people. Maybe my brain struggles to find words like a hand attempting to hold water, what would you know about that? I know I’m “weird”, as the society has termed people like me. And I’ve struggled to comes to terms with the fact that I’m not normal. Probably the hardest thing to internalize was the realization that I will never fit in anywhere.
Would you like it if I were to come up to you in a social setting and give you a lecture on why you shouldn’t talk so much? Would it be considered as “socially acceptable behavior” if I constantly comment on your loudness and how you contribute to noise pollution? No? Then what makes you think you have the right to comment on my silence? How is it okay for people like you to pinpoint my inability to make small talk and wreck my self esteem by constantly hurling insensitive words in my direction? What sort of screwed up logic of yours makes you think, you can make me speak by commenting again and again on the one thing that I struggle with? Let me say this loud and clear since you don’t seem to quite understand: People are different and it is OKAY to be different. I don’t have to change myself or act like an extrovert just so that people like you accept me. People need to accept people for who they are.
It is such an easy task to pass judgement on every soul that you lay your eyes upon, isn’t it? Because it doesn’t take much to destroy something, while it takes everything to build something. Anyone can be destructive, there is no pride in that. Very few can create and nurture. You should be ashamed of the wounds you have inflicted upon others, for you have gifted them with something that will never fade with time: scars. How many more lives are you going to ruin with your words? Please stop. Stop trampling over others to feel strong. You will not achieve anything.
You continue to label people and call them names because you do not see the misery your actions give rise to. Remember, what you see is not all that is there. What you see externally is only the tip of the iceberg. It is only the final output. What you might not see is the amount of effort it takes internally. All that you probably see is a person who seems “anti social” and never contributes much to the conversations that happen. You probably laugh at the fact that they don’t have a “life” and hide at home avoiding social events. To be honest, I don’t completely blame you, because that is all that can be seen from the outside. But what you actually don’t see is how much that person struggles with their awkward nature. You don’t understand how much courage they need to gather to fight against their crippling social anxiety to be surrounded by people. You do not know a thing about the kind of effort it requires them, just to step outside their house. You are completely unaware of the magnitude of strength they need to summon every day, just to continue living in this world. Something that you might be able to pull of effortlessly might take someone else all that they’ve got. Don’t misunderstand my words, I’m not trying to victimize them or paint what they do as an amazing feat. But understand that maybe for that person it is a tough war. Never underestimate the battles that someone else faces. Our demons might be different, but the nature of the pain remains the same.
I think the problem lies in, you not knowing the kind of impact that your words have on others. Some things that we intend as a passing remark keep ringing in someone’s ears for too long. I’m none of the things you accuse me of being. I’m not fake. I might be extremely self critical at times but that doesn’t mean I don’t have self respect and dignity. Maybe things seem that way from your place. Perspectives change with positions, I of all people should know that. Maybe if I were standing in your shoes I would misunderstand me too. But I wish you were standing in mine, so you’d know my pain. All that I’m asking from you is give people the benefit of doubt before labelling them or jumping into conclusions.
Call it over reacting or being highly sensitive, but some of us are just tired of being silent spectators in our own lives, watching people walk in and write their own descriptions of us. We’re tired of people assuming thing. So, the next time you come across someone who seems a bit different, probably introverted, possibly socially awkward, who seems extremely strange, if you can’t appreciate the good things in them then please walk away silently. If you cannot help someone, please don’t destroy them. Don’t ever make someone feel like they are not good enough, because there is nothing more shameful and cowardly than that. Respect people, even those that you don’t understand. Before you let the spiteful words slide off your smooth tongue, ask yourself just one thing: how can you hate something that you cannot fully comprehend?