The fire that keeps us alive..


To be passionate about something, is to feel intense inexpressible emotions when you act on it. It is the one thing that would raise your spirits and get the blood rushing through your veins. It is the fervor that you feel in your pounding heart. We generally associate passion only with such positive feelings. But there is another dimension to it.

I did not know about this that day, when I miserably failed at the one thing that I would give my life for. I shut the door behind me and sank to the floor. I do not know how long I sat there, my face buried in my hands hoping to somehow lose myself there, whilst sobbing as though my heart would break. My shoulders moved up and down rhythmically, as the tears flowed down my face staining my cheeks. Now and then I would choke on my emotions and scream in pure agony. It was clearly pain and hurt that I was experiencing. But I failed to see the source of that pain: Passion.

The pain that we experience is merely a manifestation of the passion buried deep within. The scalds and the marks stand as a symbol of the fire that rages inside of you. And passion is the fire that, at most times gives off an enthralling glow, but also occasionally burns your fingers if you dare to try and touch it.

The worst kind of pain in the world is failing at something you love. But there is something honest and melancholically beautiful about this pain. It is beautiful how something could make you go on your knees and weep. It is beautiful how this ‘something’ makes you vulnerable and evokes raw emotions in you.  In a world that is filled with indifference, this pain is an indication of care. An indication that, that ‘something’ matters to you. The failure hurts because you give a damn.The fact that it makes our heart ache shows that this passion is one of the purest forms of love, and it goes beyond the human level of comprehension.

We need to cherish the pain that comes from being passionate about something, for it means that the fire inside is alive and roaring, even if it scorches our skin. Better to burst into flames and burn with passion than to spend all our life immersed in apathy.



Someone once asked me what depression and anxiety feels like.

It feels like being thrown into a strong ocean current without a warning. You struggle gasping for breath. One thousand thoughts per second. Everything is happening too fast, a flurry of motions. Your lungs beg for air but only water fills it to the brim. Sheer desperation takes over. All that you want right now is to lift and float away, but the reality is too heavy, not to sink. You reach a point where your struggles become half-hearted attempts at survival. Because you know what a foolish thing it is to try and swim against the current. You give in to the water that starts consuming you greedily. You know not if you will see the light of tomorrow. The future seems hazy, if not impossible. Was it wrong that you stopped fighting? Should you let the waves take you with the flow? You might end up on the shore. But then again, you might end up drowning too.